Friendship is our most valuable gift

Friendship, our most valuable of gifts to another person, requires active participation.

As kids, our friends were generally the kids on the same block or neighborhood. And when we went off to school, our pool of friends expanded to kids we didn’t even know where they lived. Then came the stage where we could drive — growing our pool ever further.

After that came adulthood, and overnight, the world was our oyster — an endless pool of opportunities to meet and create new friendships.

But in an odd twist, as adulthood matures, the number of friends you consider close tends to decline. Life gets in the way, so to speak.

I am not talking about social media friends. I’m talking about the friends you’ve cut your finger and bled together as kids, or driven in a car for days on end on some crazy adventure, or cried on each other’s shoulder over the loss.

I am talking about someone you’ve seen the best and worst of and decided that no matter what, they are worthy of your friendship.

As adults, we tend to blur the lines between friends and acquaintances. Friendship should mean more than being able to recall one’s first and last name.

The institution of friendship deserves more.

I often think of this as my birthday cake increasingly resembles a raging bonfire.

This week, a friend of mine’s mother passed from cancer. And while we’ve not lived in the same ZIP code in more than 35 years, I hurt for him.

Our friendship was — and is — real. During our late teens, we spent our days doing incredibly stupid (and dangerous) things, discovering who we were growing into.

And then came life. Over the years, we’ve remained in touch. We are both married, with now adult children, and are arguably responsible adults. We somehow arrived at adulthood — a surprise to us both.

But when my father passed a few years ago, he was one of the first to call. And when I got news of his mother’s passing, I reached to do the same. True friendship deserves more than a few short words on a social media post or a colorful emoji. Friendship deserves our hearts and soul.

Friendship is one of the greatest gifts we can share. Like a plant, friendship requires care and attention to grow and survive. A call here, a note there — anything to keep the friendship alive over time is needed. Without genuine participation, friendships will wither and die.

I’m not shy about telling others that friendships require our active participation. I know that might sound odd, but if I consider you a friend, there is little I won’t do for you. And if we are friends, you are someone I trust, is guided by a good heart, and humble enough to know we are simply one person in an ocean of others. That is the gift of friendship.

Friendship is a gift. So ask yourself: Isn’t it worth a bit of effort on your part?

-30-